Barney the six-year old Doberman, working as a guard dog at a teddy bear exhibition in England, went on a rampage and ripped the stuffing out of Elvis Presley’s beloved bear, Mabel. 
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The exhibit at Wookey Hole Caves, a popular holiday destination in Somerset, in southern England, included (past tense) 1,000 precious and pricey teddy bears, including Mabel (pictured right, before), the beloved bear of the King of Rock and Roll, singer of “I just wanna be your teddy bear”. The collection, valued at more than $900,000, also included (past tense) a red bear made by Farnell in 1910 and a Bobby Bruin made by Merrythought in 1936, both also fell victim to violence in the workplace. The bear with Elvis connections was owned by English aristocrat Benjamin Slade, who bought it at an Elvis memorabilia auction in Memphis for $98,000, and is reportedly, “not very pleased at all.” He was also described as being, “hopping mad.” Don’t you love how polite the British are?
The collection was so valuable that the insurance company insisted the exhibitors guard it with dogs. Barney, a sleek and handsome Doberman, was dutifully dispatched. But, according to museum management it all went horribly wrong, when Barney inexplicably “went on a rampage” beginning with Mabel. Barney (who is apparently a Beatles fan) took a very large chunk out of Mabel almost severing her head, and then went mad. Dozens of other bears were shredded in the 20 minutes it took to get Barney under control.
Barney has subsequently accepted early retirement. Fortunately that is not a euphemism! Management obviously wanted him to be relieved of duty but insisted that they did not want anything “nasty” to happen to Barney. He will likely be going to a farm where he can “chase chickens.” For the chickens’ sake, I hope they’re more partial to Jerry Lee Lewis!
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Barney & his boss surveying the aftermath
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